An essential aspect of sexual relationships is communication. Relationships tend to change over time. These relationships are affected by different events in life, e.g. after childbirth or with sexual problems like erectile dysfunction and low sexual desire. All these strongly alter couple sexuality, and so require a deeper level of communication between couples. In a relationship, conflict is inevitable. The difference of opinion is always there while taking decisions in life. Couples frequently argue about such things and often resolve the issue while doing so. But, despite all that and even in the strongly connected couples, there is one brutally neglected era, discussing sexual-related problems.


Through researches, it is established that couples avoid such kind of discussions and conflicts for mainly three reasons:

  • They may think of this discussion as a threat to their relationship, damaging and twisting its feel. So, they kind of value the relationship safety more than being happy themselves.
  • They may think of it as a threat and insult to their partners’ dignity, interests, and feelings. They wouldn’t want to make their partners uncomfortable. Not understanding it may cost tearing apart their relationship eventually.
  • Some may feel discussing sexual-related problems may make them vulnerable, and revealing too much about oneself would lead to their partners disapproving and shaming them. So they avoid talking about such sensitive issues for fear of losing partners’ approval. This requirement of inherent vulnerability increases anxiety in an individual and makes him defensive towards his partner.

Some other contributing factors leading to difficulty in discussing the sexual-related problem established through the researches are:

Embarrassment:

Sexual communication and sexual health, and sex-related issues are viewed as embarrassing topics even in committed relationships. People tend to make jokes about sex rather than having healthy conversations.

Strong Cultural Influences:

Local, traditional culture and some religious beliefs make sex taboo, which may lead to the hesitation of couples talking about it and considering their sexuality to be shameful.

Lack of Sexual Education:

Lack of sexual education is still awfully inadequate in some part of the world. Lacking basic knowledge about sexual anatomy and physiology and mostly having limited cultural references of sexual act, couples neither have the more profound understanding of sex and sex-related issues nor have sufficient vocabulary to talk about it to the partner.


As said earlier, conflict or, more importantly, sexual conflict is inevitable in relationships. What we need is to understand is that conflict itself is not a troubling sign. Still, on the opposite, it should urge both partners to have discussions about sexual-related problems to strengthening the relationship as a result.

WRITTEN BY

DR AHMED CHAUDHRY