Running away from love is never easy, especially when running from someone you want to love you truly. It appears insane trying to make that possible when what you want is to dive into their arms almost immediately and telling them all about how your day went. HEARTBREAK. To love is to be vulnerable, open, and hold barred, and all this only gives room for how deep the heartbreak can go when it comes. So it’s most times better to push away your inner desires to save your heart.

I have had my slice of the heartbreak cake, and trust me, I wouldn’t want to eat that cake again and have it because I might not recover from a second one, so I am always running from love. Still, now I find myself in a place between run away or stay because my heart truly wants to stay, but my head feels this could be a bad idea, I mean a really bad one. His name is Mark; we met at a fundraiser event organized by me. I didn’t even look twice at him because he was undoubtedly a 4 or 5 in more words; he was not the attractive type. There was a lot to pull you away from him than to pull you close to him at first sight but working with my brain and heart these days taught me cute guys only come with nasty heartbreaks and not so cute guys. You know the rest.

He found a way to get into my view to notice him, but I didn’t.

So he decided to impress me in other ways by donating all we needed for my fundraising event for kids with dysgraphia ( a writing disorder); such an act went straight to my heart through my head said, don’t give away too much. Still, I eventually gave more than too much by giving my number to him. Days and weeks followed after that were beyond my expectations; he was always present; he always listened to my most silly talks, he apologized when he was at fault. I was leaving my dream, or so I felt, made from fragments of my thoughts of the perfect man. I was fighting everything in me to stay away from him and to stop whatever I was starting to feel.

I tried to kill it on several occasions by picking fights when not necessary to upset him or even get angry in other to see the other side of him. I could quickly start to detach from him but not was working, and to worsen things, it was like he knew what I was doing, and with every new one, he made me feel like I was sabotaging something good because of past events and honestly he was right. Still, I couldn’t help but feel it will soon be over, so I wanted to end it before it finished me; tougher it became for me as easy to love was all he was, and I couldn’t help but fall in love.

I came back home to find my door wide open; it seemed someone had been inside or was still inside; I picked up a baseball bat and headed slowly for the stairs after doing a thorough survey with my eyes of the parlour, kitchen and hallway and finding no one. As I walked up, I could see more signs that someone was here. I tiptoed, trying not to make a sound. Immediately I opened the room door, I was greeted with rose petals everywhere, pictures of every single date we had been on hung on the wall, and when I turned back, sensing someone was behind me, there he was on one knee with a ring in hand.